Frustration, confusion, pain… some people can trigger negative emotions in us. Often, these people stay in our lives because they are part of family, a close circle of friends, or another important community. Sometimes it’s a real challenge to stay calm and collected in the face of someone who triggers you, especially when their mere presence sends your nervous system a code red. Nancy Colierpsychotherapist whose comments were relayed by the site Psychology Todaynoted 3 ways to stay grounded when dealing with these people. Techniques that make these triggering interactions less painful and disruptive.
Examine your feelings and beliefs
This practice consists of showing curiosity and precision with regard to thoughts and feelings that the company of this person triggers in you. We tend to attribute general descriptions to our experience, such as “He/she makes me anxious”, “I hate being with him/her,” or any other generalized description of an emotional experience that is actually more subtle. Here are the questions that the specialist invites us to ask ourselves:
“What is the feeling felt? Is it shame, guilt, humiliation, grief, incapacity, helplessness or rejection? What stories and beliefs resonate in your mind as a result? What do you think (…)
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