Is it possible to heal the wounds of abandonment? – Health and Wellness

Repairing childhood trauma is not an easy or linear path. However, significant progress can be made in this healing process by developing greater self-confidence and reevaluating feelings of loneliness.

Overcoming the trauma of abandonment is like embarking on a journey of self-discovery. There is no magic formula, but the possibility of healing is real. It’s a process that involves accepting your emotions, challenging limiting beliefs, and breaking dysfunctional patterns.

As we read, we’ll explore the origins of this emotional experience, identify the signs to detect it, and provide psychological advice to prevent it from wreaking havoc on adult life.

¿What is the trauma of abandonment?
This is one of the childhood injuries that Lisa Bordeau studies; it manifests itself as markers stemming from one or more intense or traumatic childhood experiences. These are situations for which we cannot be fully prepared due to the heavy workload.

Although they originate in childhood, they stay with us beyond childhood. A painful emotional experience is the equivalent of a wounded soul. This is a deep emotional scar that lingers over time, affecting decisions we make as adults, often with negative consequences.

In the case of trauma due to abandonment, this occurs when a child feels that he or she has been left alone or neglected, either on a physical or emotional level. It is worth noting that it may be related to real and objective abandonment, or it may be the product of subjective interpretation.

signs of childhood abandonment
Although each person who suffered emotional neglect in childhood is unique, there are common patterns in how they respond to this experience that continues into adulthood. They usually show the following signs:

They form a bond of emotional dependence.
They excessively seek external validation.
They experience self-esteem and self-confidence issues.
They feel deeply helpless and unworthy.
They tend to abandon personal projects prematurely.
They show distrust and have difficulty opening up to others.
They sabotage their relationships and end them for no reason out of fear of feeling the pain of abandonment.
They exhibit self-destructive tendencies and resist their own opportunities for success or happiness.
They tend to be too accommodating to others and have difficulty setting boundaries, even at the expense of their own happiness.

The Consequences of Emotional Abandonment: The Mask of Dependence
According to an article published in Revista de Psicología, if someone experiences this kind of emotional trauma, their emotions are altered as a result, and they are likely to grow up believing that they are unworthy or unworthy of love. This can lead to feelings of vulnerability and tendencies such as abandonment anxiety.

Following Bordeaux’s idea, people create a “mask” for each emotional trauma, with the goal of protecting themselves if that injury resurfaces in the present. However, this protection is often an illusion.

The mask of those who carry the trauma of abandonment is emotional dependence. Because their greatest fear is loneliness, they desperately cling to others to avoid the pain of abandonment. However, despite their efforts, they never feel they are getting enough love or attention, thus fostering insatiable emotional needs and increasing dependency.

¿How to heal the wounds of abandonment?
Dealing with the aftermath of abandonment isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible either. First, it’s important to understand that this doesn’t mean erasing your past, but rather stopping it from continuing to affect you. The important thing is that you allow yourself to feel without judging or blaming yourself. The rule here is to be your own ally, not your harshest critic.

Of course: you need to face the fears that lurk in the shadows and challenge the beliefs that may be holding you back. Let’s look at some psychological strategies that can help you along the way.

1. Recognize and accept the wound
The road to healing begins with awareness. Acknowledging that wounds are part of your story can be challenging and painful. However, it is also an important step in healing.

This doesn’t mean defining yourself by it or believing it will determine your future, but it does mean understanding that by taking control, you have the power to influence how it affects your life and how to work to fix it.

2. boost self-confidence
Developing and increasing self-confidence is key to counteracting the effects of abandonment trauma. Everything changes when you understand that your worth is not determined by what others think of you, but by what you think of yourself.

In this sense, making an effort to recognize your personal strengths and achievements will help you build a solid foundation for your self-esteem, thereby reducing vulnerability to fears of emotional abandonment.

3. Cultivate independence
Being independent doesn’t mean keeping your distance or always having to manage alone. Rather, it means being able to make decisions without relying entirely on others. The key is to find a balance between being self-sufficient and knowing how to ask for help when you need it.

4. No more fear of saying “no”
How many times have you ignored your own needs so as not to make others uncomfortable? Do you often ignore your own wishes and put the wishes of others first?

One of the strategies you should consider for repairing emotional abandonment is to start setting boundaries in your relationships. By confidently communicating what you want and need, you can take an important step toward building a more equitable and satisfying relationship.

5. Re-evaluate loneliness
Learning to enjoy your alone time can change your perspective on loneliness, turning it into an enriching experience, or at least less catastrophic than it seems.

When you can enjoy your own company, you don’t need to rely on other people or circumstances to avoid feelings of loneliness. There is no need to isolate yourself and separate yourself from the world. Reassessing loneliness means no longer seeing it as a scary monster.

The value of treatment to the healing process
There is no denying that psychotherapy plays a very important role in healing emotional trauma. Several clinical approaches are valuable in these situations, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and EMDR therapy, which are recognized for their effectiveness in treating trauma.

Regardless of the approach, a competent and trained psychologist will provide a safe space to explore how the trauma of abandonment has affected you and provide specific tools to deal with the challenges associated with it.

You don’t have to walk this road alone. Seek help from a therapist if you feel it is necessary and take the opportunity to openly express your emotions, fears, and thoughts.
The mind is wonderful

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