A’summer without love is like a sofa without Netflix. To understand how this year will go we consulted the stars. Indeed, we have contacted those who study and observe the stars every night: Antonia Fiore, former advertising photographer, now an expert in astrology. She answered us with a horoscope in her own style: direct, straightforward, a little cynical. But after all, it is better to leave armored for the holidays.
Throw away the blacklist of people you want to make pay for since 1965 and focus on the news that await you especially in mid-July. No, don’t worry, it won’t be yet another relative who invites you to his wedding next August because he hates you. For the single one of the upcoming novelties will have two arms and two legs. On the brain I do not guarantee. For the couples instead this summer will be a test case: either plan together a mystical trip to India to purify yourself of all the heaviness that you drag from the first lockdown or give it to those around you as a gift for not having yet sued you for disturbing the public peace .
The council of the stars: before doing something, tattoo on your skin at least five good reasons to do it.
Password: to let go.
Summer of love sign: Pisces
Finally some glory for these cattle that, especially during the first part of the year, were unwitting protagonists of a tragicomic script without emergency exits. Rejoice, the ordeal is over. The 40 degrees in the shade will move the hibernating hormones of the gods single who will launch themselves like grasshoppers on new opportunities and someone will finally find the courage to leave behind an ex more bulky than a refrigerator in a Smart. The couples they will consolidate their union to the sound of gin and tonics and diabetes romance that will melt the last surviving glaciers of the ozone hole.
The advice of the stars: lower your expectations or you risk being disappointed again and blame Saturn, crop circles or your third cousin.
Password: scale back.
Summer of love sign: Scorpio
“Hot and humid evenings, how many people are having fun, but I am distant, I look at things and I think of you” sang Zero Assoluto in 2011. Here, dear Gemini, this sentence contains the summary of your summer that will be more disappointing pistachio snacks. Not even the screams of the coconut vendors will be able to stop the washing machine in your mind. You have fallen into this tangle due to a recent disappointment and you have become attached to this Leopardian mood like seaweed on the rocks. THE single they will embark on new adventures with the same enthusiasm as a sumo wrestler at the start of the diet. Too bad they will wake up only at the end of August when they remember that they have a life beyond their existential traumas. The couples they will go through a slight crisis and will not overcome it until they commit themselves to forgive some uncomfortable past situations. Only the last time you committed to something you had baby teeth, so the starting point doesn’t work in your favor.