The ranking of the sexiest Santas in holiday movies

He loves to travel, knows many languages, knows how to deal with children, owns an eight horsepower reindeer convertible, sitting on his lap is a magical experience, he has a beard and style that will never go out of style, and he even looks elegant in red. What to say: Santa’s description perilously coincides with that of the perfect husband.

He is a successful man, super popular, he always knows how to give you due attention and is able to fulfill your every wish, while managing to stay awake all night. Sorry, we’re getting carried away by the metaphor: the idea is that Santa Claus is a sex bomb unjustly underestimated by the magazine ranking Peoplewhich every year awards the most beautiful man in the world.

We decided to make up for it – we had fun digging through our Christmas movie archive to find the hottest Santa Clauses in the cinematic and television universe. Do you agree with this ranking?

8 – Hulk Hogan in “Come on Santa Claus!”

Hulk Hogan’s Santa Claus, who in this 1996 film disguises himself as Santa Claus to escape the police, is certainly an idiot, but he is also the most sculpted Santa Claus we have ever seen. He has a hard actor mustache that is very trendy right now. And finally, he rescues a group of orphaned children and gives them homes. Money, empathy, muscles: shouldn’t that be the spirit of the holidays?

7 – Billy Bob Thornton in “Bastard Santa”

Willie has a proven technique for burglarizing shopping malls during the holidays: he gets hired as Santa Claus to study the building thoroughly together with partner Marcus, a dwarf who plays Santa’s helper. This time, however, the alcoholic and irresponsible thief played by a beautiful and damned as Billy Bob Thornton becomes attached to a child…

6 – Bryce Johnson in a Christmas episode of “Glee”

Practically every year, the most famous musical TV series of the 1910s churned out a Christmas episode full of theme songs. In the fifth season, Kurt, Rachel and Santana invite a fiery Santa played by Bryce Johnson to dinner, and of course they end up singing together (in a truly memorable performance in which the three members of the glee club inhale helium to make the voices of the Chipmunk Song).

5 – Tim Allen in “Santa Clause”

In 1994, when he played the role of Scott Calvin for the first time, Tim Allen was a handsome man in his early forties who played a divorced father: for a misunderstanding, he causes an accident to Santa Claus and is forced to take his place. A true Christmas movie classicwhich had two sequels in 2002 and 2006. In addition, a miniseries entitled New Santa Clause wantedset sixteen years after the third film, in which Tim Allen returns to play the role of Scott Calvin.

4 – Anna Kendrick in “Noelle”

We are in the 21st century: It’s time for women to be Santa too! And if they are beautiful and enterprising girls like Anna Kendrick, a place on this list is guaranteed. In the film in question, Santa Claus dies prematurely, and at the North Pole they try to replace him with his son Nick. Still, it will be her little sister Noelle, after having combined some disaster, to save the spirit of Christmas.

3 – Justin Hartley in “Bad Moms 2”

We are in the Christmas-themed sequel to the film Bad Moms – Very bad moms, where we find our heroines grappling with the holidays. At one point, Carla meets an erotic dancer, played by a handsome Justin Hartley, who is about to participate in a beauty contest titled Mr Natale Sexy: the most sensual of the participants wins, each in a red Santa Claus suit.

2 – David Harbor in “A night violent and silent”

After giving us heart palpitations of Stranger ThingsDavid Harbor returns to the big screen to interpret the most ruthless Santa Claus in Christmas movies (and as we have seen, the competition is tough) and what most resembles the hero of an action film: he is violent, yes, but only to save a defenseless little girl. And while he fights, he utters Christmas catchphrases that even make them sound cool: the power of an extremely sexy Santa Claus.

1 – Kurt Russell in “Somebody Save Christmas”

Almost seventy years old, when this film was released in 2018, it certainly could not be said that Kurt Russell did not retain a certain charm. At least in the scarlet uniform that he wears to interpret a moody, mischievous and incredibly funny Santa Claus. At one point, from inside a prison cell (ah, yes, because this is a Santa Claus who is even arrested) he decides to unleash happiness among the inmates by singing. No one can remain indifferent to the magnetism of an actor of this caliber.

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About David Martin

David Martin is the lead editor for Spark Chronicles. David has been working as a freelance journalist.

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