Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen Will Make You Lose IQ Points | Cinema

Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen airs tonight at 9.20pm on Italia 1

The echo of the great success of last week’s piece dedicated to Transformers must have reached the Mediaset offices, because this week Italia 1 dedicates another evening to the robots of Michael Bay, proposing the second film of the saga, Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen. “Great success” obviously it is an ambiguous expression: the fact that a piece accumulates so many readings does not mean that it is liked, and apparently relatively few people appreciated our quasi-re-evaluation of the first film on Transformers. “It’s a very stupid movie! Trash written with your feet! “ you reproached us. We forgive you: you still did not know that we would also cover the second film of the saga, compared to which the first looks like a piéce theatrical written by Strehler.

Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen it is, we say it right away for the avoidance of doubt, a film of embarrassing stupidity. On the surface it seems to be everything one would expect from a sequel to a blockbuster children’s film: same characters, same situations, but all blown out of proportion as befits a second chapter; and of course also new characters, with the thankless task of making us fond of them within a couple of scenes, and new villains, because a sequel that does not raise the stakes and expands the mythology is a sequel that is born already maimed, at least in contemporary cinema.

Revenge of the fallen flik and flok

The problem is that Transformers, net of all its flaws, it was still a film that benefited from the touch of Steven Spielberg, whose advice (about writing, but also about the approach to special effects in a film based largely on CGI) helped Michael Bay to shoot. an adventure toy with a classic but recognizable structure, the right pace and enough scenes of vehicular destruction to make us forget the presence of Shia LaBeouf. For Transformers 2 – Revenge of the Fallenperhaps in the mistaken belief that he had already taught everything possible to Bay, Spielberg stepped aside, always appearing as an executive producer but leaving all the writing tasks to the dramatic couple Orci / Kurtzman, to which he also added for the occasion Ehren Kruger.

The result is that the two and a half hours duration of Transformers 2 – Revenge of the Fallen they are an ordeal for any common sense brain. It is as if the film took the few good things that had been written for the first chapter and threw them into a very deep cesspool, and filled the empty spaces with an infinite series of writing solutions, one worse than the other. It literally works everything worse compared to the first chapter, and nothing demonstrates this better than the character of Sam Witwicky, which in Transformers he was the archetype of the Spielberg boy who comes into contact with a source of wonder (in this case, robot aliens from the depths of space).

Fegan Mox

In Revenge of the Fallen, Sam goes to college. This means that the film wastes entire sequences to show us our protagonist who integrates and makes friends but also misses his beauty (Megan Fox, who after this film will fight with Michael Bay and leave the franchise) and that he has to leave. Bumblebee to his fate. It’s hard to describe how out of place certain scenes are, and how insufferable Sam’s new conspiracy roommate is, played by a victim of circumstances named Ramon Rodriguez. They are doubly so because we’re still talking about a Transformers movie, which now that Sam has arrived at college has already made us abundantly see that, in the rest of the world, much more interesting things are happening.

It is like Transformers 2 – Revenge of the Fallen it was two movies in one, and the teen comedy starring Shia LaBeouf had been forcibly engaged to give Sam something to do while waiting for the moment we discover its true usefulness. Whole minutes of filler in which Michael Bay tries to make the high school comedy, failing dramatically and making us regret John Turturro getting pissed on his leg by a robot.

Robostronzino

Revenge of the Fallen it is studded with horrible choices. There are at least two different robots that emit a flaming fart at one point in the film, an idea that stops making people laugh even before the first time you see it. There are Wheelie and Skids, arguably the worst sidekicks in robot history, which exist only to disturb and break the pace of the film. There is a terrifying subplot in which Megan Fox convinces a Decepticon to go over to her side with the power of BDSM, and which concludes that the aforementioned robot calls her a “warrior goddess”. There is also the sexy Decepticon played by Isabel Lucas, a clear reference to the fembot of Austin Powers.

There are even bigger structural problems, the kind of sloppiness that might go unnoticed if they weren’t slammed so blatantly in our faces. Starting with the fact that Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen he came out too early to learn the lessons of the Avengers. Let’s talk about the fact that the first film ended with a gigantic battle that revealed to thousands of eyewitnesses (and probably millions of people in the world) the presence on Earth of gigantic alien robots: the kind of revelation that should radically change the Weltanschauung of the all of humanity, in short. And that instead in the second film is immediately sunk: Revenge of the Fallen wants us to believe that world governments have managed to hide the truth from the public, and that for two years the Autobots have worked shoulder to shoulder with soldiers from all over the world but in great secrecy, without getting caught – a very easy feat for aliens as tall as villas.

Babies

Of course (if you’ve seen the movie, otherwise we’ll tell you) nothing is more stupid than MacGuffin being introduced to give Shia LaBeouf a role and purpose in this giant robot beating movie. Everything that happens since it turns out that Sam’s brain contains the entire database of the universe or so, and that he goes on with an unlikely trip to Egypt, is capable of lowering the viewer’s IQ by several points: be careful while watching, or at least wear a pair of dark glasses to protect yourself.

Fortunately, as per tradition, the last battle of the film is very long, full of explosions and extremely satisfying, the usual Bayhem of great quality. Worsened, however, by the weight of the previous nonsense, and above all by the choice to shoot the whole fight in the desert and hybridize the beating between robots with moments from war movie classic: certain blows, if taken and given in the middle of the desert, weigh less than they would if instead of being surrounded by sand and dunes, the contenders were in the middle of a city. But here we are going beyond the third chapter: let’s see if Italia 1 will satisfy us and plan it for next Saturday.

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About David Martin

David Martin is the lead editor for Spark Chronicles. David has been working as a freelance journalist.

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