Will the person ever arrive who can turn my life upside down?” – Corriere.it

from Massimo Gramellini

«A broken heart is the wall behind which I defend myself and it is becoming the alibi for never throwing myself away». Write to 7dicuori@rcs.it

This is the column of the mail of the heart edited for «7 » by Massimo Gramellini. The 7 of Hearts is the card that indicates the second chance, the opportunity that presents itself again, the opportunity to complete something left unfinished. For us it is an invitation to start over, to start the rescue, accepting and supporting the change. In which direction? We want to help you choose it: write to 7dicuori@rcs.it

Dear Max,
I’m twenty-eight and I’m a teacher in love with love. I experience this anachronistic “scourge” with respect to the society that surrounds us as a tragedy and almost ashamed. I’m an idealist who, not even with too much effort, always finds beauty in those who approach her life. And when she can’t, she starts imagining. I imagine other endings, explanations that go beyond logical and vertical thinking and flow into the world of fantasy. I’ve been alone for more than two years, and after a relationship that ended very badly I totally closed myself off to new acquaintances, as if something in me had stopped and I had suddenly lost the courage and determination to fall in love. The truth is, I’ve tended to lose faith in mankind, but I still believe that people can hold wonders, if only they have the patience to wait. The broken heart is the wall behind which I too often defend myself and perhaps it is even becoming the alibi for never throwing myself away.

«I’M BEGINNING TO NOT SUPPORT MY SOLITUDE ANY LONGER… I FEEL THE NEED TO HAVE SOMEONE BESIDE WHO CARES FOR ME, WITH WHICH I SHARE JOYS AND PAINS»

I adore my loneliness, which I have cultivated with pride and patience, but I’m starting to hate it anymore. Is it that bad? I feel the need, especially on certain evenings, to have someone next to me who takes care of me, with whom to share joys and sorrows, who has an authentic feeling for me. Someone to tell about your day, with whom you can laugh and with whom you don’t even need to talk to get along. Someone who, in the end, I never find and who has forgotten to look for me. I don’t know, it will be literature, maybe too many films, but I’ve been waiting a lifetime to meet that person who will turn my life upside down (who, frankly, I don’t even know what I expect them to do) and who will be worth the give that spasmodic need to love that I have. Dear Massimo, Julia Roberts would say «it’s my fault, I always fall into impossible relationships», while I just fall and I don’t even know where I’m going. I’ve been trying to trust someone lately, but it hasn’t done me any good. They told me that I have the ability to chase after a firefly in the pitch dark that only I see, and I think it’s one of the most beautiful spells. Help me see her again.
Ilaria

DEAR TRUSTER OF FIREFLIES,

to help you I have to shake you and to shake you I have to scold you. You’re a little too complacent, don’t you think? You wallow in your melancholy and feel sorry for your condition, but in reality you have no intention of getting over it, because wearing the mask of the misunderstood idealist allows you to never get involved and always hide somewhere else. You say and you don’t say, you affirm and you deny yourself within the same sentence. You have lost faith in human beings, yet you still think they hold wonders. So you haven’t lost faith, just the will to believe it. In doing so, however, said George Bernard Shaw, you run the risk of turning into “an agitated lump of trouble who complains that the world does not dedicate itself to making him happy”. It would be a pity – worse, a waste – because reading you one can sense your sensitive and profound nature, which only needs to emerge from the loss of inaction to find a purpose.

YOU ARE AFRAID OF WHAT YOU NEED THE MOST AND YOU NEED HUMAN CONTACTS THAT YOU WAIT TO COME TO YOU. WHO KNOWS FROM WHERE

Usually 7 of Hearts tells stories that lead to a concrete dilemma. This time the story in which many readers will be able to identify is more impalpable, but no less urgent: they are your thoughts, deformed by loneliness. Loneliness is good only if taken in small doses: like almost everything, after all. When it becomes the prevailing condition it produces sick effects, causing the mind to magnify the shadows and transform the fears it dares not face into neurotic abstractions. Here we are, Ilaria. Fear. You have a mad fear of suffering: not only for not having been chosen, but for having been chosen and then rejected, like those sweets you throw away after you’ve tasted them. You fear the judgment of others, and in order not to submit to it, you prefer to sit in the dark corner of your solitude, imagining an artificial but wonderful world because, being fake, it has no power to hurt you. Usually you are afraid of exactly what you need most and you need those human contacts that you avoid waiting for them to come at you from who knows where to tear you away from the role of passive observer of your own life. Throw yourself into the world without thinking, just feeling. And accept the risk of hurting yourself if you want to do yourself any good. ough.

December 4, 2022 (change December 4, 2022 | 17:02)

Source link

About David Martin

David Martin is the lead editor for Spark Chronicles. David has been working as a freelance journalist.

Check Also

Groundhog Day and the 10 Most Absurd “Time Loops” in Cinema | Vanity Fair Italy

Today, Canada and the United States celebrate the Groundhog Day (Groundhog Day). Famous holiday also …

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *