Do you feel that at this age you should have already achieved many of the things that you have achieved? Secure job, home and kids too? This assumption can cause a kind of anxiety. Learn about him in the following lesson.
“I haven’t gotten where I want to be.” How often does this thought come to you? Do you also feel that many of your dreams or personal goals are not yet fulfilled? A significant portion of the population carries with them “milestone anxiety”.
There is an unsettling feeling of vital failure and that Becoming an adult and maturing doesn’t always mean winning back what you wanted as a kid, Furthermore, if the societies and economic systems that orchestrate it, it has the potential to slow down individual fulfillment and freedom.
Getting a stable job or having the solvency to pay for your home isn’t easy. That constant frustration often translates into psychological distress that you can probably recognize now. If so, we suggest you continue reading to delve into the subject.
The people who experience the most pressure to achieve milestones are millennials and Generation Z.
Milestone Anxiety: Definition, Symptoms, and Triggers
Milestone anxiety defines the psychological pressure that people experience when they perceive that many of their hopes and life goals have not yet been fulfilled. To understand the implications of this reality, it is necessary to clarify the relevance of expectations of the self in human fulfillment, well-being, and happiness. If these fail, a part of us collapses.
magazine feeling and emotion It has been revealed in an investigation that not achieving what they expect hurts more for human beings than reaching for it and then being disappointed. An example of this would be the craving for a stable job. If we get it and it’s not as perfect as we thought it wouldn’t hurt more than not getting the chance to get it.
On the other hand, it should be noted that anxiety, in itself, is not a clinical entity to be considered a disorder; I don’t see it Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V). Nevertheless, it is a psychological reality that causes growing unease. Let’s analyze how it manifests itself.
life pressure anxiety
In 2022, relateA psychological consulting company, shared an investigation that brought to the fore an issue we don’t talk about much: Millennials and Generation Z experience milestone anxiety the most. It takes longer for young people to become independent, build their own homes, and have children.
All this creates a characteristic picture of perceptions, thoughts and apparent discomforts as follows:
- low self-esteem.
- sense of significant failure.
- Critical and self-destructive internal dialogue.
- Self-concept is weak and distorted.
- Disappointment and the belief that your hopes will never come true.
- The feeling that people around you and society itself are judging you for your apparent failure.
- This concern has to do with social comparison, Because a person compares his achievements and life with what he sees in the environment or on social networks.
- Thinking about thoughts such as: “I haven’t gotten to where I want to be”, “I haven’t achieved what I expected”, “I’m letting my family down”, “Others have achieved more things than I have” Are”.
- The physical symptoms associated with target anxiety are similar to those of other types of anxiety: fatigue, muscle tension, headache, tachycardia, digestive disorders, sleep problems, dietary changes, etc.
- When milestone anxiety is prolonged and feelings of hopelessness persist, there is a risk of other disorders. In this regard, a University of Wisconsin-Madison study deals with the existing co-morbidity between anxiety and depression.
Feeling that our expectations have not been met is an increasingly common phenomenon in psychological therapy.
What is the origin of milestone anxiety?
Much of human psychological suffering is a direct result of the context it is in and the situation it is in. It is true that every person has good or bad means to deal with adversity.
however, Young people suffer more than ever from the influence of a society that hinders their independence and self-realization. Let’s immediately describe more aspects that affect the appearance of anxiety due to vital pressure:
- Criticism for lack of a job or stable partner and children, acts as a conditioning factor.
- Self-demand is our worst enemy. Pushing ourselves with the idea that we should have already achieved certain milestones doesn’t help either.
- People imbibe narratives from our family and society about what we should achieve in each life cycle. It causes sadness to see that it is not fulfilled and there is a clear inconsistency.
- Social media doesn’t help either. digital showcase YesOlo shows off the brightest, best version of each, just do a little scroll To believe that everyone is more successful and happy on Instagram or Tik Tok That our mental health is badly affected by this.
- One of the most important triggers for goal anxiety is social comparison. a work published in a journal Current Psychology, He talks, at times, about the pain of not being able to meet up with societal standards. We want to be like others, want others to achieve; Not getting it becomes a prison of worry.
Strategies to manage this type of anxiety
Milestone anxiety is one of the most frequent reasons for consultation in psychological therapy by the population under 40 years of age. Dealing with that feeling of failure is not easy and society erects walls, barbed wire and chains for its own growth and personal fulfillment. What to do in these situations? Consider the following points:
Time for rest, new perspectives, and personal reset
Excessive worry prevents you from thinking clearly and reflectively. It will be difficult to feel good if the mind attacks us like our worst enemy. In these contexts, the ideal is to give yourself a few days of rest and social and technological disconnection, Being alone is useful for working on the ideas that we now propose:
- improve goals; This will allow the new illusion engine to start.
- Think about change for life. Sometimes, a small change in routine is enough to find new stimuli.
- See the present life in perspective. Not being able to achieve what you want doesn’t make you a failure. In fact, it is enough to look back to find that you have been successful in many areas.
It’s time we stop speaking badly and devaluing ourselves, respect ourselves like our best friend. It is necessary to modify the internal dialogue, be more empathetic towards yourself, Sympathetic and affectionate. Self-compassion is a great psychological resource to apply in times of anxiety and despair.
One key to reducing this variation in anxiety is to stop comparing yourself to others and be more kind to yourself.
Focus on Missed Milestones: Are They Really Important?
Sometimes, the goals we set for ourselves are not ours: they are set for us by society or family, Delve into what you haven’t achieved and assess whether you really need it to be happy. Perhaps it is possible to replace that milestone with a more motivating one; For example: You still don’t have a home, but maybe what you want now is to travel and live a more nomadic life.
acceptance and commitment therapy
If milestone anxiety is impossible to manage on your own, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) helps., This approach helps create a more meaningful life by taking on the most difficult or adverse areas of life.
Values and self-discovery are worked through and tools are offered so that individuals can accept what they cannot control and also develop a more empowered vision of themselves. It is undoubtedly a useful therapeutic method in these cases.
Making changes and seeking support are key to treating milestone anxiety.
To conclude, if you are currently going through this experience and the feeling persists that you have not reached where you want to be, Don’t hesitate to make changes and seek support from those around you.
It is important to note that we are not alone nor are we the only ones who suffer from this perception. At some point, reality will shift in the desired direction.
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